WHEN YOU WANT TO QUIT THIS YEAR

I am so weary of the past year, whose struggles and uncertainties seem only to be bleeding into this one. And for those already burdened on every side, it seems a bleak prospect.

To be honest, I have really desired to check out of this time in history entirely.

And yet, here I have been placed, not to evade or resist it, but to be IN it, an engaged and caring participant.

But that perspective can be a hard one to live out. The other morning the girls and I were reading Matthew's account of Jesus walking on water and it struck me in a whole new way.

Jesus has just lost his cousin, John, in an horrific way--so He is alone, praying and grieving, when He sees a storm blow up and begin to assault the boat containing His friends, the disciples.

And that's the thing about storms. They blow up suddenly, even if you are grieving and burdened, even if you need an emotional break, for goodness sake.

And yet through the frightening wind and waves, the disciples discern an impossible figure in the distance: a ghost, they presume, because their human minds cannot conceive transcending their own weightiness to walk with authority over the waters.

So they respond as we always do when we don't understand: they fear. They make (false) presumptions. They somehow miss the dear face of their Familiar, their beloved Teacher and Friend.

And yet the first words out of Jesus' mouth are, "Take heart; it is I."

There is no addressing of the storm, no immediate deliverance. He speaks the reality of His presence among them as if it were a completely adequate response to their life-threatening situation.

As if it were enough.

And He goes a step further, inviting them to "come," to find sure footing not on the tumultuous waters but in His Presence with them.

You see, there are days I don't want to step onto the waters of this year. They are scary, uncertain, ever-changing, and unclear. But I am not called to get out of the boat once the waters are still; I am called to walk towards the One Who *stills* them.

And each day we fix our gaze upon Him, for, really, that is our truest need and highest good.

So, take heart.

It is Him.

We do not merely walk on something but towards Someone.

And that is the monumental difference.